The more people I met the lonelier I felt. I'm certain I never felt quite so alone as a child, and I knew fewer people back then. Moreover, it seemed to be the ratio that made the difference - as a child the majority of the people I knew were a priority to me and then a good number of those people died. A vast majority of the people I know now are for civility's sake. This imbalance must have caused the loneliness that visited me when I was not alone.
I proposed a remedy to self to fill my life with people of priority, and fill the gaps with books. I thought I had done this, but at times the loneliness still lurked. And the books were a poor choice to fill the gaps, as it was not the moments I had alone that irked me. "Perhaps if I employed the books in a new fashion," I thought, "and used them as projectiles at unwanted persons I'd at least be saved from enduring the idiocy fastened so resolutely to the crowd. But then I would be alone and have nothing to read. "
2 comments:
Great post.
I don't think that we ever know anyone quite as well as adults as we did as children. Once you look through the eyes of an adult, you lose the eyes of the child. Children don't look at motives or posture, they can look at people without judgment.
If we could only keep our child eyes we would never be lonely.
- ND
Ah, I think you hit on one of the reasons for having children to look through their eyes at the world again.
Post a Comment