Say Cheese

Some people pair cheese with wine. But did you know there is a man out there pairing cheese with sex? I swear to you it's true. My friend had an encounter with him, this man that refuels after sex by raiding the fridge - nude- for cheese.

And it got me wondering, how does he pair cheese with sex? It's enough for me to pair it with wine. Is the pairing based on performance or partner? Can you get one of those wheels like the ones that guide you with what food goes with what wine?

• Velveeta for the white trash fling.


• American for the beer-drunk one night stand.


• Sharp Cheddar for a date that started at TGIF, and yet still ended in bed.


• Smoked Swiss for the date that drank an entire bottle of red.


• Brie for the college girl that read the Kama Sutra cover to cover.


• Gorgonzola for the girl that rocks your world.


• Blue Cheese for the cougar.

Does he have one of these? Only Mr. Cheese knows.