Harken Back

When my brother and I were children we fell victim to the hypnotic powers of television. Even as we crossed the living room in pursuit of childhood adventure our paces would slow till we were stock-still in front of the television. It wasn’t even cable.

Naturally, my father, who watched television while reading the newspaper, was annoyed by this sudden blockage of his view. “You make a better door than you do a window,” he’d say. He often had to repeat himself before we moved to the side or moved on through the room. This occurred so frequently that the phrase was eventually shortened to a bark of “Door!” To this day, I’m quite sure if someone were to shout out “Door!” that Pavlovian instincts would have me immediately checking my position.

Years ago, when I was first married, I had a Honda Accord with buff interior. I also had two young step-daughters that liked to use the backs of the front seats as vertical ottomans or otherwise tuck their feet up underneath them on the backseat. This was before children had to sit in car seats until the age of 13 or 110 lbs.

I got tired of cleaning black marks from the upholstery, and I quickly learned that children are rather like dogs. It does you absolutely no good to correct them after the fact. You have to catch them in the act. Every time I felt a kick in the back of the seat or turned back through conversation and caught them in the act I would cry out, “Feet on the seat!” This was eventually shortened to a call of “Feet!” I had turned into my father.

Today, as I find myself repeating, “Get your feet off the seat” to Bella with her dirty snow boots I think back to Amber and Kayla when they were younger. I think back to when I was a child. And I fondly remember the calls of “Door!” and “Feet!”