Friday, December 14, 2007

New Year's Resolutions

First off, I'd like to state that I will attempt to not use punctuation to communicate emotion, outside of its traditional sense. This is the forerunner of New Year's resolutions for me. Some years ago, I had made improving my posture my New Year’s Resolution. The following New Year, having not been successful, I renewed it and declared I would continue to do so until I was, in fact, posture perfect.

I still have bad posture, and at this point realize I must like it that way. So, smiley faces made of colons and parenthesis are my new targets to lambaste out of my life. I figure it might be easier to succeed if my resolution required lack of action rather than action. If I get really lazy, I might give up punctuation altogether and blame it on ee Cummings. Audacious, I know. But hey, why not? And that gives me an idea. How about adopting new personality traits as a resolution? It might be a lot more fun. And if it doesn’t work out, you Catholics can just give it up by Lent. Either way, punctuation or personality traits are far less expensive and embarrassing resolutions to adopt and drop than gym memberships.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

anon#1
in that vein maybe this year instead of beating myself up over not losing weight (again) I will try something new. I will be prone to hyperbole.
yes ...instead of being "fine" when someone asks how i am doing I will say "I'M HAVING THE BEST DAY EVER!" or "I FIND YOUR REQUEST TO BE THE MOST FULFILLING THING I WILL WORK ON TODAY!" and just shove some sunshine up everyone's ***. No sarcasm, no tinge of irony, I'll just be THE HAPPIEST WORKER EVER. that should keep them wondering......

alicewonderland said...

That's great! I hope you do it!

Anonymous said...

That would scare the hell out of me.

Different Anon