Some of Us Work Hard

The following is a serious IM conversation.

Alice: what am I? Cookie Monster's sister?
NaborDan: I don't have a clue about what you are talking about...
Alice: I go to lunch (Bread Co.) and I end up with bread crumbs all in my shirt, up my sleeve, down my back.
NaborDan: I see...
Alice: I have no idea how I managed this. But's like crumbs in bed.
Alice: but's?
NaborDan: A new contraction?
Alice: I guess.
NaborDan: A double contraction? That's a first... but I like it... Can you think of any more?
Alice: I didn't think of it, you did. I just made a typo.
Alice: hmm, now I'm thinking...
Alice: and've no idea
NaborDan: It's really very efficient...
Alice: it's really Orwellian
Alice: and I still have these damn bread crumbs
Alice: this is what comes with eating and talking with your hands
NaborDan: ShopVac?
Alice: Yeah, I got one of those in my purse!
Alice: have resorted to stripping and shaking
NaborDan: Where the hell did you get those crumbs?
Alice: lunch
Alice: oh,
Alice: in my shirt
Alice: up the right sleeve, down to my shoulder
Alice: strip shake did not work
NaborDan: Holy crap!
NaborDan: I recommend sticking with the soft bread in the future.
Alice: I had Carlie look down my shirt that I can't strip off and she sees that my skin is red from being whacked and scratched, but that's it.
Alice: This is the second day in a row I've had to invite someone into my shirt at work. I must really be hurtin for attention.
NaborDan: They’re going to add that to the "benefits" plan if you aren't careful...
Alice: lol
Alice: that was hilarious, I was crying I was laughing so hard.
Alice: I can still feel something poking my shoulder, but otherwise situation has improved.
NaborDan: That could be the HR manager... It's probably too late for you.
Alice: Great! Another chick in my shirt.
NaborDan: No... she is just there to get the details for the benefits package. I'd ask for a raise while she's there. That usually works...
Alice: good idea! I knew you'd come in handy.